


Emotions Over Efficiency

by We_deserve_rainbows



Series: Efficiency And Emotions [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Coffee, Late Night Conversations, Self Loathing, Sequel, bad mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2020-05-18 17:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/We_deserve_rainbows/pseuds/We_deserve_rainbows
Summary: Logan still hides his emotions but he’s trying not to, he’s trying so hard.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y’all like the sequel!

Virgil was so glad that they had confronted Logan about hiding his emotions, he saw how bad Logan was hurting and he couldn't believe that they hadn't noticed earlier. Virgil was listening to music in his room and trying not to cry, he should have been there for Logan, why was he so stupid? He pulled a blanket tightly around his shoulders and tried to ward off the intrusive thoughts. He drew a shuddering breath and looked at his clock, 1:47 a.m. he sighed and got up to get a glass of water. As he padded over to the kitchen, still wrapped in a blanket, he went about getting himself a glass of water in the dark and without making any noise.

“Hello Virgil,” a voice said from the couch in the living room. Virgil squeaked and dropped his cup into the sink, “what are you doing up so late?” the voice said as they moved into the little light being emitted by the appliances in the kitchen, “You need rest to perform your function in Thomas,” When the figure moved into the light Virgil sighed and his anxiety dripped away as Logan came into view.

“What the heck Logan,” Virgil exclaimed, now very much awake, “you scared me,” Logan looked away guiltily and pushed up his glasses.

“I apologize Virgil,” Logan said, “I thought I would be the only one awake at this time,” He moved past Virgil to grab a mug and fill it with cold coffee from that morning. 

Virgil stared as Logan put his cup into the microwave and set the timer, “Hey there, Lo,” Virgil said, hurriedly walking over to Logan, “is coffee this late at night really a good idea?” when Logans response was just a blank stare Virgil pulled his sleeves over his hands and asked, “Are you doing okay?” When Logan looked at Virgil he noticed tears shining over the unreadable expression in his eyes. 

Logan got his coffee out of the microwave and went to sit on the couch in the dark without saying anything to Virgil. As Virgil walked over and turned on the lamp sitting besides them he saw tears silently running down Logan's face, “Hey, what’s wrong?” Virgil asked, not quite sure what to do.

“I just don't deserve you,” Logan said, finally turning his body to look at Virgil, who looked shocked, “I don't deserve you, or Patton, or Roman,” Logan was crying substantially at this point. Virgil was about to say something when Logan cut him off, “I am useless, therefore I don't deserve your love or support,” He finished, looking at Virgil like he’d just made an irrefutable argument.

Virgil gaped at him for a few seconds before speaking up, “You aren't useless Logan,” Virgil stated, taking Logans hands in his, “we couldn't work without you, Thomas needs you,” emotion started welling up inside virgil when he saw Logans look of disbelief, “we all need you Logan,” He looked at Logan, trying to convey how much he cared without speaking.

Logan sighed and looked down at their connected hands, “I believe you, I do, and I logically know that Thomas might suffer if I were not here,” Logan started, voice wavering a tiny bit, “but I still feel like I don’t deserve any of you,” he finished, eyes dripping with tears. Virgil felt tears pricking his own eyes as he went to hug Logan.

“You deserve every bit of our love Logan, I promise,” Virgil murmured into Logan’s hair while he hugged him. Virgil’s hoodie was wet by the time they finally pulled away and Logan stood up.

“Thank you Virgil, you’re much appreciated,” Logan said before striding down the hallway to his room. Virgil got up and went to his own room, he went back to his room and fell onto the bed. This time he fell asleep without too much delay.


	2. Chapter 2

Logan woke up the next day at 6:00 a.m. and got out of bed without external protest despite only having slept for four hours the night before, he did his morning routine in silence, the only thing breaking the silence was the sound of Virgil, the only one who was consistently up before him, shuffling around before the day really started. He walked out of his room and made a beeline straight for the coffee machine. He was in the middle of making coffee when Patton came out of his room, smiling when he saw Logan and Virgil,

“Good morning kiddos,” he said with a grin as he went about preparing breakfast for everyone, “how are you Logan,” Patton pulled pans out from under the oven and got eggs from the fridge,

“I am sufficient Patton,” Logan said, not looking at him while he reached up to get a coffee mug, “thank you for asking,”

Patton paused, his smile fading for a second, “Is that the truth?” he asked sincerely, looking intently at Logan.

Logan stared back, a look of slight disbelief on his face, “Patton, since you all have talked to me I have genuinely felt better than I have in a long,” he sighed, “long time,” Patton looked at him, as if he didn't believe him, tears were starting to prick Patton's eyes, no doubt because the realization of just how much Logan hid his feelings over the years was starting to sink in, “Patton, I promise you that I am being truthful about this,” Logan looked at Patton, “I don't want to lie anymore,” he said as he turned to his coffee. When he faced Patton again he gave a small smile. Patton nodded and let a reluctant smile creep onto his face. 

Virgil, who had been listening to the whole conversation, got up and went to lean on the counter opposite of them, “Seriously L, I-,” he paused, “we all care about you,” 

Logan nodded appreciatively, still smiling, “Thank you Virgil, that is much appreciated,” Virgil smiled tentatively back while Logan stirred his coffee and put his spoon in the sink. He chatted with Virgil and Patton for a few minutes until he finished his first cup of coffee and remembered that Roman was still asleep, “Pardon me,” he excused himself from the conversation, “I'm going to wake up Roman, I'll be right back,” he walked down the hall to Romans room. 

“Ok kiddo,” Patton said, getting a frying pan and pancake mix out. He turned to Virgil and started saying something about breakfast before Logan left the room.

Logan walked down the long hallway that lead to Romans room, he knocked on the door and heard Roman call from the inside,“One second Padre, I'll be right out,”

Logan heard Roman rushing around his room, he rolled his eyes and called back,“It's Logan,”

Roman threw open the door, seeming perfectly well put together except for his hair being a little tangled in the back.

“My bad teach,” Roman apologized and flashed a winning grin before sobering up and looking intently at Logan, “how are you doing?” he asked as they walked down the hall towards the kitchen. 

Logan rolled his eyes and stopped walking before turning to roman, “You're the third person today that I’ve had to tell that I’m fine,” he snapped. His eyes widened and he tried to play off this outburst as a joke but the hurt look on Roman’s face shut him up. 

Roman looked at him quizzically, almost as if he thought that Logan actually was joking, “Logan...” Roman started, voice trailing off as he considered what to say, “surely you understand why? You've given us plenty of reason to be concerned, and we all care about you a lot,” he fiddled with his sash and was suddenly filled with insecurity over his worry, was he being overbearing?

Logan let out a breath before defeatedly saying, “I know, Roman, I’m sorry,” he looked at Roman almost contemplatively, his nervous tics sticking out to Logan as if they were highlighted. Logan wanted to ease their concern but he just didn't know how to. He drew in a short breath and straightened his tie, “Roman, please, can we just have breakfast,”

Roman looked at Logan and offered a weak grin, trying to exude his trademark confidence and only succeeded in driving away the self-doubt for a minute, “O-ok Lo, yeah let’s go,” he said, wavering voice slowly getting stronger as Logan meekly smiled at him.

They walked into the kitchen, both acting as if nothing had happened, Roman out of pride and Logan out of instinct. They sat down at the dining room table and sat in silence while they waited for Patton to bring them breakfast. While Logan intellectually knew that none of them needed food to function it was a tradition that they had been practicing for as long as any of them could remember. Logan stared at his coffee and replayed that interaction with Roman over and over again in his head. God, why did he say that? That was so unnecessary, Roman was only looking out for him. He looked at Roman across the table, seeing his feeble attempt to hide his doubt and guilt. Maybe it was because Logan knew that he was the reason for worsening Romans already not great view of himself, but it seemed like Patton and Virgil didn't notice anything amiss about the scene as they ate breakfast in a relatively silent manner. Patton, being the only one trying to make conversation, was gently attempting to nudge Roman into talking about his idea for a new video. 

Without warning, Virgil stood up and placed his plate in the sink. “Thanks for breakfast Patton,” he mumbled before placing his headphones over his ears and walking to his room quickly enough to worry the other three. When he got to his room he sat down on the edge of the bed and sat there in still silence before burying his face in his hands and falling back onto his back. The tension in the air at breakfast was palpable, he didn't know what happened but he just couldn't stand to be there anymore. What happened with Logan has made all of them so on edge and tense, he couldn't wait until it was all back to normal. He turned on a twenty one pilots song and turned the volume all the way up, not caring that he couldn't hear his own thoughts. 

He stayed like that for a while, dread barely kept at bay by the music. When he felt a small tap on his knee he started, cold panic settling in his stomach, and panic turning to flat unease when he saw Deceit looking at him aloofly, “We need to talk about that favor, Virgil,” he said and sat dramatically in a beanbag chair as if it were a throne. 

Virgil sat up and swallowed in fear, “Yeah, okay,” he said, bristly annoyance covering the fear in his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it <3

**Author's Note:**

> Open to criticism :)


End file.
